June12, 1999
Clueless Comment Of the Week:

Q: Triplets? Did y'all use any fertility devices?

A: Just the two God gave us. (This answer went straight over the head of the person who asked it but elicited a throaty laugh from the grandmotherly woman who was listening to the conversation.)

The babies are really going through a huge developpmental growth spurt now. They are right in the midst of what my friend Rick Foster called the "human tape recorder" stage. While it's really exciting to see the babies' rapidly expanding language skills, it poses certain lifestyle delimas now that the babies are likely to repeat anything that they hear.

For those of you who know Jill, know that she curses like a drunken sailor. Ok, maybe not as bad as a drunken sailor, but certainly as bad as a severely angry Baptist preacher. Ok, maybe not as bad as severly angry Baptist preacher, but most assuradly as bad as a moderatly miffed Buddist monk.

So recently when we heard Carter utter a certain expletive that rhymes with "mitt" I had to admonish Jill and remind her of the tender young minds she was influencing with her coarse language.

Do you believe that? It's all true.

All right, I confess: I, on rare occasions might yelp, "Oh, Shucks!" when I stub my toe (or something that sounds like "shucks"), but the babies' language problems are really mostly Jill's fault. Really, I swear...I mean, Jill swears -- which is the problem.

Ok...whatever.

We later learned that all of Carter's "s" sounds come out "sh," so he was really saying "sit," which we figured out when he started pointing at the rocking chair and saying "sit" (except with the sh on the front). We've been teaching the babies not to stand up in the rocking chairs and Carter was merely repeating back our instructions.

Mother's Heartbreak v. 2.0.
The babies begain thier first pre-pre-pre-school this week, a Mother's Day Out program. Although Jill was sad that her little babies were already so grown up (they just turned 16 months), we were both heartened by their amazing progress. They all completed their first day with high marks in cheerfullness, cooperation, and playing well with others. Carter alsowas recognized by his teachers for being "chatty." So now Jill has to worry about those first grade report cards -- will Carter get a "U" in "knows to be quiet"?

May 23. 1999

For all those of you who care, we survived the tornado. It was no big feat--it didn't come near the babies, Jill, or me. It did hit my office Here're some pictures.

My friend, Howell Grayson, provided me with some sage advice recently:

" In a conflict between your wife and your dog, never take sides with your dog."

Now, while the eternal truth of this statement is self-evident, it brings to mind some of the recent events at the Raines house.

The babies have finally consented to going to sleep on their own and in their own room and this is a very good thing.

The babies' new found self-reliance has freed several hours each evening which Jill and I previously spent getting the babies to bed. Jill, being dedicated to the training, education, and general self-improvement of her children, has extra time--previously focused on the babies--to focus on my training, education, and general self-improvement.

Anyway, it reminds me that Mr. Graysons's sage advice might make for an interesting discussion. So, click here to join our discussion on marital harmony or the lack thereof.

On to baby news:

Carter had his first trip to the ER last week with a small, but deep, laceration to his chin which was closed not by stitches, but by the new and miraculous medical substance known as Dermabond, AKA superglue. What's even more amazing is that we got in and out of the hospital in under 30 minutes.

Sara has learned to climb over our baby gates and out of one of our 3 baby beds. This has led to a frenzy of invention, desperation, and perspiration. As I've said in the past, we are now living in their house.

The babies all had a wonderful 15-month check-up; here are the latest stats:

Carter: 21 lbs, 31.5 in long

Sara: 21 lbs 9 oz, 30.5 in long

Zane: 24 lbs 11 oz, 31.5 long